Have you ever noticed the way you feel after talking to people who are full of life? The people who dream big, overflow with passion, and always seem to bring your attention to what’s important in life. It can be hard to keep your feet on the ground after conversations with those types of people. I’m fortunate to be surrounded by many folks like that, and today was no exception. Over Sunday brunch at the Alibi Room (one of my favourite venues in the Gastown district of Vancouver), conversations tipped towards the bigger picture of life and where each of us is headed. That got me thinking about what I call “the little f” and “the big F”.
The letter f, big or small, signifies a focus area. The little f is the short-term focus area or question on your mind today. The fact that the f is little does not mean that the focus area isn’t important; rather it alludes to the fact that the item is current and relevant right now. On the other hand, the big F is the longer-term focus area. The big picture. Your potential. Who and what you are when you dream big.
Many times in life, we have thoughts about little f focus areas that whirl about in our heads, where we go through list after list of pros and cons, trying to evaluate the course of action to take. Perhaps you’re wondering which house to buy. Which career path to take. Who to date. When to have children (or whether to have them at all). They’re all important decisions that need to be made. However, when the same repetitive thoughts seem to swirl around your head day after day, and week after week, it may be time to stop and switch your focus to the big F.
The big F is the vision you have for yourself. In an earlier blog entry (“So, what is it you really want?”), we started to explore how to identify your big F. If you haven’t already spent some serious time mapping out your big F, I encourage you to do so. Without conscious thought of where you’re going, how will you ever know when you get there? And frankly, how will you even know if you’re on a path that is taking you in the exact opposite direction of where you want to be?
Once your big F is out of your head and down on paper, you can take comfort in using that personal vision to guide you in decision-making. Remember those little f focus areas that were whirring around in your brain? Well, now is the time to see where they stack up against your big F. How does the little f fit within the big F? Is it a step towards where you want to be? Or is it something that’s holding you back, leading you somewhere else, or just posing as a convenient distraction to help avoid making the tough decisions you know you need to make?
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you realize that you accidentally got caught up in only thinking through the little f in isolation. It happens to everyone (and more often than we might like to admit!). The good news is that once you remind yourself to consider the big F, you’ll start to notice that you’re able to make the little f decisions with much more clarity and confidence than before.
Here are some questions that may help as you assess your little f’s and your big F’s:
1 – What decision on the little f will bring me closer to realizing my big F?
2 – If the little f is not bringing me closer to my big F, what is the life lesson for me here?
3 – How can I use that lesson to act in a way to bring me closer to my big F?
Until next time….live to the fullest,
Keith
14 June 2009
28 February 2009
The 5-minute fix for procrastination
Do it for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. The next time you feel like you’re coming down with another bout of the “I’ll do it later today” virus, fight back with just 5 minutes of your time. (When you think about it, that’s only about the length of the commercial break in between your two favourite TV shows….or about the length of time it takes a kettle to boil.)
Let’s face it. At one point or another, we’ve all excused ourselves from doing something right away. Maybe we were too tired. Maybe the task seemed too daunting. Maybe deep down we were just afraid of what would happen if we did it. Either way, 2009 is the year of no excuses, so join me in turning excuse into execute. With just 5 minutes!
Whatever your task is, just commit to doing it for 5 minutes. At the end of the 5 minutes, sign on for another 5 minutes. Then 5 more. And keep adding on in 5 minute increments as long as you find yourself needing to convince yourself to complete your task.
The beauty of the 5-minute fix is that it gets you in the motion of doing. And in the laws of physics, an object in motion tends to stay in motion.
By only committing to 5 minutes of your time upfront, you trick the procrastination virus into thinking it’s not really committing to doing the task. By the time it realizes what has happened, you’re already well underway to completing your task.
Here’s one example of how this played out in my own life: the winter months in Vancouver can be cool, grey and rainy. Convincing myself to get up for an early morning run in the dark was always met with a few hits of the snooze button, until I simply didn’t have enough time left to run before work. “I’ll do it after work,” I’d tell myself. The work day would end, and I’d be feeling wiped out after a full day. And by then, the darkness of the winter day would be set in again. Suddenly, I’d remember that I had told myself I was supposed to go for a run. “Ugh, I’ll just do it later this evening.” Later that evening, I’d be too warm and content inside, so “later this evening” turned into “I’ll just go tomorrow morning.” And we already know what my morning routine looked like!
But then I discovered the 5-minute fix. I simply started telling myself I’d only have to run for 5 minutes - and at least that would be better than 0 minutes. Well, by the time I was outside running for 5 minutes, I’d be caught in the mood of wanting to run. Never once have I stopped at just 5 minutes. An object in motion tends to stay in motion!
So, where do you keep getting set back by the procrastination virus? The next time it happens, commit to the 5-minute fix and see where it takes you.
Until next time….live to the fullest,
Keith
Let’s face it. At one point or another, we’ve all excused ourselves from doing something right away. Maybe we were too tired. Maybe the task seemed too daunting. Maybe deep down we were just afraid of what would happen if we did it. Either way, 2009 is the year of no excuses, so join me in turning excuse into execute. With just 5 minutes!
Whatever your task is, just commit to doing it for 5 minutes. At the end of the 5 minutes, sign on for another 5 minutes. Then 5 more. And keep adding on in 5 minute increments as long as you find yourself needing to convince yourself to complete your task.
The beauty of the 5-minute fix is that it gets you in the motion of doing. And in the laws of physics, an object in motion tends to stay in motion.
By only committing to 5 minutes of your time upfront, you trick the procrastination virus into thinking it’s not really committing to doing the task. By the time it realizes what has happened, you’re already well underway to completing your task.
Here’s one example of how this played out in my own life: the winter months in Vancouver can be cool, grey and rainy. Convincing myself to get up for an early morning run in the dark was always met with a few hits of the snooze button, until I simply didn’t have enough time left to run before work. “I’ll do it after work,” I’d tell myself. The work day would end, and I’d be feeling wiped out after a full day. And by then, the darkness of the winter day would be set in again. Suddenly, I’d remember that I had told myself I was supposed to go for a run. “Ugh, I’ll just do it later this evening.” Later that evening, I’d be too warm and content inside, so “later this evening” turned into “I’ll just go tomorrow morning.” And we already know what my morning routine looked like!
But then I discovered the 5-minute fix. I simply started telling myself I’d only have to run for 5 minutes - and at least that would be better than 0 minutes. Well, by the time I was outside running for 5 minutes, I’d be caught in the mood of wanting to run. Never once have I stopped at just 5 minutes. An object in motion tends to stay in motion!
So, where do you keep getting set back by the procrastination virus? The next time it happens, commit to the 5-minute fix and see where it takes you.
Until next time….live to the fullest,
Keith
15 February 2009
So, what is it that you really want?
The journey to find the life that was intended for you is a personal one – and one that is unique to you. Your partner will have a different journey. Your best friend will have another one. And the woman you bumped when reaching for the coffee lid at Starbucks will have something different again. Sure, there may be moments when it seems that life is running in parallel with those around you, but the totality and intricacies of that journey will be unique to one person. You.
So, what it is that you really want?
It amazes me how many people never stop to ask themselves this one question. With so many demands on our time, I can theoretically understand that it’s hard to make time for that kind of self-reflection. But if you’re feeling like that proverbial “something” is missing from your life, why not spend some time thinking about what it is that you do want in life? Once you’re clear on your vision – even if it’s just a shorter-term vision for yourself – you can start to assess how close you are to living that vision, and what needs to change to make that vision a reality.
As I write this, it’s late afternoon on Sunday. In a few hours, the sun will go down in Vancouver. Some of you may feel the onset of the weekly Monday-Morning-Blues-That-Really-Begin-Sunday-Night. Instead of going to bed in that unsettling mindset, let’s try shifting it. In fact, why not make this your best Sunday night ever!
Exercise: 3 Steps to Identifying What You Want
Step 1
Try to carve out some downtime for just yourself this evening. Even 30 minutes will be a start if that’s all you can afford. Have your better half make the kids’ lunches if need be. Record your favourite TV show and watch it tomorrow instead. Shut off the Blackberry knowing that any emails will still be there when you turn it back on in a half hour. Do whatever it takes to commit to 30 minutes for just you.
Step 2
For the creative envisioners:
Imagine your life 10 years from now. Let yourself go in a day-dream. Where are you in 10 years? Did you move? Who’s around you? What do you do during the day? During the night? What’s hanging on the walls of where you live? Try to work your way through details for all 5 senses. After 10-15 minutes, write down as much as you can of what you remember. What does your list say about what you want & what’s important to you?
For the writers:
Get out that pen & paper. You’re going to write a letter to Santa. (Okay, yes it’s February, and yes, you’re an adult). But remember how good it used to feel to have the freedom to ask Santa for whatever your heart desired? Well, now’s the time to resurrect that childhood practice. Ask Santa for whatever you want! Don’t worry about how it sounds, or about getting the words right. Just start writing – and here’s a trick – don’t lift that pen off the page (literally!) until at least 10 minutes have gone by. When you’re finished writing your letter, re-read it. Now add a PS at the end that includes the things that you felt too embarrassed to write down the first time (and yes, if you’re like most people, there will be a few things in that PS….and it may even warrant a PPS….)
For the practical types:
Let’s get started with a top 100 list for “The top 100 things I want in life.” 100?! Yes, 100! Chances are the first 20-30 things will come pretty easily, but pushing yourself to 100 will really let you dig deep to list many of the things that you want in life. The condo by the sea can go on the list. So can the trip to Japan. Falling in love. Getting published. Starting your own business. You want it; write it down! (Note: some people like to take this one step further to record the top 100 moments they want to experience in life. It’s a slightly different twist that gets you focused on being in a “moment” instead of a list of “things.”) Once your list is complete, take a look at it and see what patterns come up. How many big life changes are there? How many one-off experiences are there? Which items would give you the most satisfaction if you had them now?
Step 3
No matter which route you took in Step 2 (and kudos to the ones who decided to do all 3!), spend the last few minutes of your reflection time asking yourself:
What’s the one thing I could do this week to get closer to having what I want?
Until next time…live to the fullest,
Keith
So, what it is that you really want?
It amazes me how many people never stop to ask themselves this one question. With so many demands on our time, I can theoretically understand that it’s hard to make time for that kind of self-reflection. But if you’re feeling like that proverbial “something” is missing from your life, why not spend some time thinking about what it is that you do want in life? Once you’re clear on your vision – even if it’s just a shorter-term vision for yourself – you can start to assess how close you are to living that vision, and what needs to change to make that vision a reality.
As I write this, it’s late afternoon on Sunday. In a few hours, the sun will go down in Vancouver. Some of you may feel the onset of the weekly Monday-Morning-Blues-That-Really-Begin-Sunday-Night. Instead of going to bed in that unsettling mindset, let’s try shifting it. In fact, why not make this your best Sunday night ever!
Exercise: 3 Steps to Identifying What You Want
Step 1
Try to carve out some downtime for just yourself this evening. Even 30 minutes will be a start if that’s all you can afford. Have your better half make the kids’ lunches if need be. Record your favourite TV show and watch it tomorrow instead. Shut off the Blackberry knowing that any emails will still be there when you turn it back on in a half hour. Do whatever it takes to commit to 30 minutes for just you.
Step 2
For the creative envisioners:
Imagine your life 10 years from now. Let yourself go in a day-dream. Where are you in 10 years? Did you move? Who’s around you? What do you do during the day? During the night? What’s hanging on the walls of where you live? Try to work your way through details for all 5 senses. After 10-15 minutes, write down as much as you can of what you remember. What does your list say about what you want & what’s important to you?
For the writers:
Get out that pen & paper. You’re going to write a letter to Santa. (Okay, yes it’s February, and yes, you’re an adult). But remember how good it used to feel to have the freedom to ask Santa for whatever your heart desired? Well, now’s the time to resurrect that childhood practice. Ask Santa for whatever you want! Don’t worry about how it sounds, or about getting the words right. Just start writing – and here’s a trick – don’t lift that pen off the page (literally!) until at least 10 minutes have gone by. When you’re finished writing your letter, re-read it. Now add a PS at the end that includes the things that you felt too embarrassed to write down the first time (and yes, if you’re like most people, there will be a few things in that PS….and it may even warrant a PPS….)
For the practical types:
Let’s get started with a top 100 list for “The top 100 things I want in life.” 100?! Yes, 100! Chances are the first 20-30 things will come pretty easily, but pushing yourself to 100 will really let you dig deep to list many of the things that you want in life. The condo by the sea can go on the list. So can the trip to Japan. Falling in love. Getting published. Starting your own business. You want it; write it down! (Note: some people like to take this one step further to record the top 100 moments they want to experience in life. It’s a slightly different twist that gets you focused on being in a “moment” instead of a list of “things.”) Once your list is complete, take a look at it and see what patterns come up. How many big life changes are there? How many one-off experiences are there? Which items would give you the most satisfaction if you had them now?
Step 3
No matter which route you took in Step 2 (and kudos to the ones who decided to do all 3!), spend the last few minutes of your reflection time asking yourself:
What’s the one thing I could do this week to get closer to having what I want?
Until next time…live to the fullest,
Keith
01 February 2009
The "who" and "what" of The Goldfish is Free blog
Hello friends. My name is Keith and I've finally decided to begin this blog: The Goldfish is Free. This space is meant to be a place for those who are tired of feeling trapped in a fishbowl, tired of swimming around in circles. This space is one where I invite you to share your dreams, your fears, and your discoveries. If even one person finds an "A-ha" moment as a result of reading this blog, then it will have been worth every minute of my time to write.
But before we delve into smashing our fishbowls and living a more authentic life, I hope you'll allow me an opportunity to tell you a little about me. What follows will help you have a better sense of the person on the other side of the screen (:
Several years ago, while still in "middle management" in the corporate world, I embarked on a journey that would take me into the ups & downs of self-awareness and self-improvement. I must confess that shortly after, my book shelf started bearing a strong resemblance to the self-help section at Chapters. The passion to read and explore was fueled by a sudden awareness that there was a different way of living. A different way to find happiness in every day. A different way to think about purpose. Life's meaning. Soul's mission. Whichever words you choose to describe it, I felt a new sense of connection growing inside of me. Part of me was thrilled, and part of me shied away from talking about it.
You see, much of my social circle at the time was made up of two types of people. One was the older generation, who still clung to the notions of job security, stability and the status of climbing the corporate ladder. The other was a group of younger, type A, success-oriented folk, who seemed perfectly content in the corporate world. They logged their hours, and I wondered if they, too, desperately tried to quiet their inside voices that said it was time to explore new avenues in life.
Don't get me wrong; I loved everyone in that circle! Even the ones who told me I was nuts when I said I was leaving the six-figure corporate lifestyle to pursue my imprisoned creative side and, shall we say, find myself. And I especially loved the friends who pushed my buttons. Some of their comments initially met with fierce resistance inside me. Later, I would realize that those very same comments were doorways to find the real me. {Side note: if someone has been pushing your buttons lately, ask yourself why it gets to you & what door may open for you if you accept what they said as even just 2% truth?}
Self-discovery became one of my favourite hobbies, and eventually led to a decision to train as a personal coach. I finally caught a glimpse of what people meant when they say, "When you love what you do, it doesn't feel like work."
And that leads me to today, February 1st, 2009. A while ago, I declared 2009 as the year of no excuses. And one of the actions behind those words: start the blog!
So, I invite you to join me over the coming months, on a journey of exploring a new way of living. Drop me a line with the things you'd like to chat about. Reach out where you need some assistance. Celebrate your successes! The Goldfish is Free is about you - and reshaping, resizing, or simply smashing your fishbowl.
Live to the fullest,
Keith
But before we delve into smashing our fishbowls and living a more authentic life, I hope you'll allow me an opportunity to tell you a little about me. What follows will help you have a better sense of the person on the other side of the screen (:
Several years ago, while still in "middle management" in the corporate world, I embarked on a journey that would take me into the ups & downs of self-awareness and self-improvement. I must confess that shortly after, my book shelf started bearing a strong resemblance to the self-help section at Chapters. The passion to read and explore was fueled by a sudden awareness that there was a different way of living. A different way to find happiness in every day. A different way to think about purpose. Life's meaning. Soul's mission. Whichever words you choose to describe it, I felt a new sense of connection growing inside of me. Part of me was thrilled, and part of me shied away from talking about it.
You see, much of my social circle at the time was made up of two types of people. One was the older generation, who still clung to the notions of job security, stability and the status of climbing the corporate ladder. The other was a group of younger, type A, success-oriented folk, who seemed perfectly content in the corporate world. They logged their hours, and I wondered if they, too, desperately tried to quiet their inside voices that said it was time to explore new avenues in life.
Don't get me wrong; I loved everyone in that circle! Even the ones who told me I was nuts when I said I was leaving the six-figure corporate lifestyle to pursue my imprisoned creative side and, shall we say, find myself. And I especially loved the friends who pushed my buttons. Some of their comments initially met with fierce resistance inside me. Later, I would realize that those very same comments were doorways to find the real me. {Side note: if someone has been pushing your buttons lately, ask yourself why it gets to you & what door may open for you if you accept what they said as even just 2% truth?}
Self-discovery became one of my favourite hobbies, and eventually led to a decision to train as a personal coach. I finally caught a glimpse of what people meant when they say, "When you love what you do, it doesn't feel like work."
And that leads me to today, February 1st, 2009. A while ago, I declared 2009 as the year of no excuses. And one of the actions behind those words: start the blog!
So, I invite you to join me over the coming months, on a journey of exploring a new way of living. Drop me a line with the things you'd like to chat about. Reach out where you need some assistance. Celebrate your successes! The Goldfish is Free is about you - and reshaping, resizing, or simply smashing your fishbowl.
Live to the fullest,
Keith
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